Hailed as “The most frightening book Stephen King has ever written,” Pet Sematary remains to this day the one novel that still scares the author himself. It’s also the book King never wanted to publish. In 1989 it was adapted into a feature film that stuck very close to the story arch but lacked the intensity of the source material. I grew up watching the original movie and it’s subpar sequel from 1992, but always wanted to read the book for myself to get the full experience.

Louis Creed moves his family from Chicago to Ludlow, Maine to start a new a new job at the local university, with his wife Rachel, their daughter Ellie, her cat Church, and their son Gage. Shortly after arriving the family is warned about the dangers of the major roadway in front of their home by their new neighbor Judd Crandall and his wife Norma, a couple who have lived in Ludlow all their lives. One afternoon, Judd takes the family up an old trail into the thick woods behind the Creed home that leads to the Pet Sematary. Created by children over the last hundred years, it’s a place built out of love and loss with an undercurrent of something other worldly beyond it’s makeshift gates.

Broken into three sections, the novel takes its time establishing the Creed family, their new life and the sins of the past. Nothing is quite what it seems and soon strange events begin to unfold. After the death of a student at the university, Louis finds himself slipping over the edge of sanity in a very real and frightening way. Is something out to get the Creed’s? Or is it a case of the Creed’s bringing about their own misery? As each chapter progresses we learn about how each character deals with, connects to, or simply denies death.

Unlike the film, which held true to the novel’s tone but lost many of the finer details that hinted at the true nature of the mysterious Micmac Indian burial ground, the book creeps under your skin and hooks deep. As the story progresses there is a palpable sense of dread that grows to a feverish pitch. Something is lurking in the darkness, a power at work and secrets to be revealed that I will leave to you as a reader to discover.

You may already be familiar with the story thanks to the film, but I promise you there are many new things to be uncovered by reading the novel. Some aspects were altered slightly, but many were changed out right and were not nearly as effective. The film plays these elements out for simple scares and visual gags, while the book delves deep into the characters to horrifying effect. Rachel’s family history is far more disturbing, and provides a more satisfying explanation for how she carries herself and why she still has nightmares. Judd’s history with the Pet Sematary and the Micmac burial ground are also more interesting on the page, culminating in a very different exchange that I did not see coming.

King wrote a new forward for a reprint in the early 2000's, stating that this was book that hit closest to home, part of the reason he didn’t want to publish it. (Another reason being he thought it was simply too dark, without hope.) As he began work on the project, he had rented a home while teaching with his wife and young children, living on a busy road with an actual Pet Sematary just off the beaten path. His daughter’s cat was killed on the road and his son had a close call running out toward the road as a truck came speeding by.

In the end, Pet Sematary makes for a better book than a film. With a pending remake of the movie on the horizon, hopefully more elements from the original story will make there way onto the screen. This has turned out to be one of my all time favorite books despite how dark and twisted it is, and the events and images described in the final fifty pages will forever stay with me. There are many important lessons to learn from this story about honesty, loss, love, strength, desire, and temptation, but despite your best intentions,

“Sometimes dead is better….”

Fourteen years after the awful ‘Jurassic Park III’, ‘Jurassic World’ is finally here. This is not a movie I’ve been looking forward to in particular, but it has been bouncing around in the back of my head for awhile. The trailer promises dino action up the wazoo, and a much more interesting plot this time around. So how does it hold up you may ask? Let’s head back to Isla Nublar and find out!

As always, there will be some minor spoilers from here on out!

Basically erasing the slate with this new film, we’re treated to a direct sequel to the original ‘Jurassic Park’. The island has been open without any major issues for ten years. Over time, more and more new dinosaurs have been introduced to the park and it has grown accordingly. Now the public wants something “bigger, with more teeth.” After creating a hybrid dinosaur, management soon finds themselves in a world of hurt when they’re new creation breaks loose.

So let’s start with the positive! Some of the biggest highlights come in the form of recycled scenes from the two books, ‘Jurassic Park’ & ‘The Lost World’ by Michael Crichton. The Pterodactyl’s and their glass cage for example are right out of the first book. A chase, as seen in the trailer, with Chris Pratt on a motorcycle surrounded by raptors in the woods, is reminiscent of a chase from the second book. There’s another sequence involving the new Indominus Rex, instead of the T-Rex, that is a reworked scene from the first book. I don’t want to give this one away since it’s not in any trailer, but it works pretty well. (There are a few other bits and pieces throughout the rest of the film)

The worst part about ‘The Lost World’ film is that it ignores about 75% of the book written by Crichton, unlike the original ‘Jurassic Park’ that was based heavily on the book. This left a lot of unused ideas on the floor, so it’s nice to see some bits get reused in some way in this new film. However it’s not enough to save the overall very lame writing. The script almost comes off as not finished. The first act is pretty solid, but raises a lot of questions that are swept under the carpet by the second act. Everything presented is pretty good overall, but nothing ever really feels fleshed out.

As for the dinosaurs themselves, the fact that many of them are not scientifically accurate doesn’t bother me as much as it does some people, mostly Paleontologists. These are after all, not real Dinosaurs, they were created in a lab by InGen. Dr. Wu even makes a comment about this in the film at one point early on. It almost makes sense that many of them would be bigger or flashier in some way since they seem to be at the public, and their shareholders mercey.

The cast is well picked from the top down, but only certain characters really have something to do, everyone else just shows up when needed. Still, no performance in the film is bad. It almost feels like if it was another 20-30 minutes longer, we would get a much better and deeper understanding of both the characters and the Island itself. (There isn’t much back story to learn here and if you’re like me, you’ll have a few questions as to how this all came to be) There are however some great callbacks to the original sprinkled throughout the entire movie. At first these moments are a lot of fun, and cleverly placed into the story, but by the end, things begin to get overwhelmingly cheesy.

BIG SPOILERS FROM HERE ON OUT! (Except the last Paragraph!)

There is a moment when the T-Rex is brought out, and it is one of the single worst shots in the entire film. The T-Rex is turned into a major hero. (And some reason doesn’t eat the survivors at the end despite the fact that it tried to eat them just minutes before) There is even a moment when the T-Rex and a raptor work together. At first, it isn’t quite teamwork and more of just a bombardment which is pretty believable and well done, but then quickly devolves into them sharing a moment once the baddie is defeated. The two actually sharing a moment, staring at each other and then both turning and walking away. For some reason, the T-Rex which has been locked up and never had a chance to hunt, doesn’t try and eat the small dino at it’s feet OR the survivors at hand. MAKES ZERO SENSE.

Despite a few other issues I take with the story and the heavy CGI in the film, I must say that my biggest single gripe, is that there is not one moment remotely as memorable as the first film. From the dions themselves, to the vehicles, one liners or even the characters. (What happened to classic lines like, “Hold on to your butts”) The only moment that comes close to this is when an old jeep from the original films shows up, but it ultimately just made me want to watch the original. (The gyrosphere is cool looking, but makes ZERO SENSE on an island filled with Dinosaurs, especially once you see what happens to it. AND it’s nothing compared to the Ford trucks from original)

Overall, ‘Jurassic World’ is not a bad film, but it’s really no better than the mixed bag that was ‘The Lost World: Jurassic Park’. It has high moments, and some seriously dreadful ones, but still remains a fun time at the movies. It’s not often we get to see dinosaurs so life like on the big screen and I have fond memories of seeing the original, ‘The Lost World’ and now ‘Jurassic World’. The action is certainly a lot of fun, the characters are likeable and the park itself is pretty awesome. This one is certainly worth a viewing or two, but I would still love to see an extended cut of some kind. Oh! And remember, ‘if something chases you…. run…”

Score: 3 Genetically Altered Dinos Out of 5

In Early 2014, Kung Fury was brought to us on Kickstarter.  It’s goal was simple.  Raise $200,000, and create a short, action-packed, 80’s cop movie. The people spoke, and the movie raised over $600,000.  Now, this did tragically fall short of their goal of a cool million to make a full feature-length film, but alas…

Kung Fury was recently released.  Find it on Youtube.  Find it on Steam.  Find it wherever you can, because this short film was INCREDIBLY Entertaining.

Despite it’s bizarre premise, Kung Fury manages to keep you engaged for the full 30 minutes, which is a real feat, considering what you are being subjected to.  A cop who tragically lost his partner to a Kung Fu Master was struck by lightning and bitten by a cobra at the same time, fulfilling the prophecy of a man who would master a new, unstoppable form of Kung Fu, and became KUNG FURY..  Now a street cop who doesn’t play by the rules has to travel back in time to stop the worst criminal of all time:  Adolf Hitler. 

With help from his new partner, Triceracop (I shit you not, a British half-man, half-Triceratops), his friend and master computer hacker, Hackerman, The Viking Babes, and others, Kung Fury takes the fight to Nazi Germany to put a stop to Hitler once and for all.

Here are a few things to keep in mind about this movie.  While the premise is ridiculous, it so well embodies movies of this type (well, kind of this type) of the 80’s.  From the poor VHS tracking at the beginning and end of the tape, the police precinct, computer hacking, the fast cars, the over-the-top ridiculous violence...it’s all there.  Fast paced, no filler, good comedy, good action, and a desire to create something so loved, which shines through every frame. 

But it get’s better.  Kung Fury: Street Rage.  The video game to go along with the movie.  Two buttons, a cool visual style, and a simple premise make it incredibly fun, despite how simple it really is.  It’s available on Steam for low cost.  

Not satisfied yet?  How about David Hasselhoff singing the theme song, True Survivor?  With 11 million+ views on youtube, the video for this track is so delightfully riddled with the tropes of the day, splicing in scenes from the film, and of course, the Hoff’s ability to do a split while falling out of a vehicle.  

Bottom line:  For 30 minutes, it will keep you well entertained, especially if you have a fondness for action comedy.  Check out the film, check out the game, check out the music video, and get Kung Furious!!

Get the cigars ready because the fat lady hasn’t finished singing! This week film director Dean Devlin posted a photo of him with another familiar face on the set of Independence Day 2.  With the overwhelming number of reboots and trilogy series churning out of Hollywood lately this is one sequel we are genuinely stoked about! And what better way to express our excitement than a Top 10 list counting down the reasons we need this sequel:

10. When ID2 debuts it will have been 20 years since the first film was released! Kids these days probably haven’t even seen the first one. It’s time to introduce this generation to one of the greatest action/alien/pro-American films of our time and teach them to choose their Will Smith and Randy Quaid.

9. TECHNOLOGY! Graphics are a bajillion times better nowadays.  Can you imagine seeing this in IMAX 3D?!  Alien guts spewed all over the screen and practically in your face.  It’ll be so real you may catch the virus this time.

8. ID2 is scheduled to premiere June, 24 2015… the same day as Transformers 5, which I’m fairly certain there wasn’t even a Transformers 4 so we’ll have ID2 to look forward to that weekend.   

7. A female president, people! WHAAAT?! We couldn’t have a female lead in Olympus Has Fallen, White House Down, G.I. Joe: Retaliation, and certainly not in real life. I mean if a woman is leading our nation who is in the kitchen making the sandwiches? According to IMDB, Sela Ward will play President Lanford. Not familiar? Do a quick Google search and you’ll say “Oh, that lady!” She certainly looks the part so we’re down with it.

6. A Hemsworth! Liam Hemsworth to be exact. The final film in the Hunger Games series comes out this year and without any Avengers or Thor movies in 2016 we’re going to need at least one of the Hemsworths to get us through the summer. Liam will be playing Jake Morrison but not much is known about his character yet… and does it matter really?

5.5 Alright I figure the guys were less excited about #6 than myself so while I drool over Liam you boys can get excited for Vivica A. Fox! She’s back and this time she’s off the pole and working as a hospital administrator. Is it too much to ask for a naughty nurse uniform? (cough IMAX 3D cough).

5. We’ve got good news and bad news here. The good news is Randy Quaid actually never stopped playing his role as Russell Casse.  The bad news is he won’t be reprising it for the sequel and proceeds from movie sales will not go towards his inevitable bail bond.

4. This is the first time since the last MIB film that we can talk about Will Smith and he’s not even in it! While Smith focuses on the real aliens, Xenu and the Galactic Confederacy, he has given his blessing to let newcomer Jesse Usher play a similar role as Smith’s son in the film.  

3. Oh my God! Bill Pullman’s still alive?! He will be reprising his role as (former) President Whitmore. Can we look forward to another inspirational speech that we can quote every Fourth of July?

2. Jeff Goldblum is reprising his role from the Apartments.com ads as David Levinson! In the words of Levinson we are uh, um, uh, we are uh, VERY excited, yes, VERY excited about this.

And the final reason we’re excited for Independence Day 2…

1. Because, AMERICA! What better way to celebrate our independence than with an explosive, shoot ‘em up, rally the troops and repel an alien invasion sequel! Grab the family and kids and make a weekend out of it.

“We will not go quietly into the night!’ ‘We will not vanish without a fight!’ ‘We’re going to live on!’ ‘We’re going to survive!’ Today we celebrate our Independence Day!”

– President Whitmore

This week two trailers I’ve long been waiting for were finally released; Jem and Supergirl!

Tuesday brought the first wave of excitement. Based on the 1985 animated series, the new live action film, Jem, features that familiar pink hair we always wished we had, that terribly awesome pop music, and well, that’s pretty much it. Jem, aka Jerrica Benton (Aubrey Peeples) and her sister Kimber are both teenagers who live with their Aunt (Molly Ringwald) and her two step children. In this version Jerrica is a misunderstood brooding teenager who has a natural talent for singing and songwriting. With the unwanted help from her sister she rises to stardom and finds herself in over her head. While watching the trailer I couldn’t help but think that the Jem I remember was an adult. The Jem I remember battled with the rival band The Misfits, not against her own band. The Jem I remember was a product of the holographic computer Synergy, not a viral YouTube video sensation. The Jem I remember had bigger hair! … This trailer is outrageous. Truly, truly, truly outrageous. In hindsight I’m not sure what I was expecting with a live action version of a cartoon from my childhood. Perhaps for a grittier reboot version Jem will be backstage snorting coke off the stomach of one of the Holograms. Now that’s something I’d go see on the RPX.

Wednesday was a brand new day where CBS dropped a six-minute Supergirl trailer. Personally the timing couldn’t be better after having binged on the Daredevil series on Netflix this past weekend (not to be confused with the Ben Afleck version); so I’m on a superhero kick right now. I eagerly loaded the video, made it full screen, cranked up the volume, and pressed play. Suddenly a loud BOOM “My name is...Kara Zor-El.” Immediately my heart started racing with excitement. Kara’s origin was flashing before my eyes, a promise from her mother that she will do extraordinary things on Earth, glimpses from her childhood memories and then cut to black. Fade in to a blond girl with glasses and a ponytail nearly dropping her coffee and accidentally running into people on the street as campy pop music provided the ambiance. If you saw the SNL Black Widow Parody from a couple weeks ago then you’ve already seen the Supergirl trailer. She’s nervous around men, isn’t sure who she is or what she wants to do with her life, and spends just shy of minute trying on different outfits for her superhero costume… Because if there’s one way to get women interested in tuning in for a superhero show it is to replicate your typical romcom formula but add a cape. I’m sure girls who aren’t comic fanatics would be into this but I’m dying to know what men think when they see this trailer. “Dude bro, you see Supergirl this week? I can’t believe she almost spilt her boss’s latte everywhere! What a klutz right?”

On Thursday another Supergirl trailer was released. It’s unclear if this was one created and released by CBS as it was quickly taken down from YouTube. However several gaming and comic news websites were eager to release the video earlier in the day. The two minute action packed version is void of pop music scoring and genuinely feels badass…well as badass as CBS can get. This time she’s throwing punches, crashing through brick walls, and even uses her heat vision. As she walks away from a truck explosion we hear her say, “Earth doesn’t have just one hero anymore!” Now THIS is the trailer they should have released in the first place. However I can’t unsee the first sneak peak. My hope is CBS listened to the overnight criticism and quickly released a version that amped up the action and provided more reassurance to comic book fans that this will work… Gosh I hope this isn’t going to result in a crossover with Two Broke Girls.

Truthfully I will check out both Jem and Supergirl when they’re released; If only to see if they prove to be better than the trailers that were released. Comment below and lets us know what you think about the Jem and Supergirl trailers!

Jem trailer!

6 Minute Supergirl Preview!

Second Supergirl trailer!

SNL Black Widow Parody!

I can rattle off a myriad of lost crime and action gems from the late sixties to the early eighties. Interestingly enough, though, most action films within that decade and a half weren’t necessarily full-on action films, but more so crime films grounded in a much more plausible reality, with the addition of brilliant, effective action beats implemented within the story. Films like Point Blank, Bullitt, Dirty Harry, The Seven-Ups, The French Connection I and II, The Outfit, and Thief come to mind, and that’s only a few. It wasn’t until the approach of the mid eighties when we started to see some of the more extravagant, over-blown, Stallone/Schwarzenegger/Lundgren/Norris/Van Damme high-end cinematic carnage, not to mention the even more excessive, yet wonderfully choreographed bullet-ridden mayhem John Woo introduced to us, and even he’s a director who’s been heavily influenced by the nuances of much grittier, intricate plot structures that directors like Jean-Pierre Melville created in his films, like Le Samourai from 1967 and Le Cercle Rouge from 1970, to name a couple.

I’m babbling a bit, but consider it a preface to future reviews of films in similar genres.  To get back to the original point; one of these lost gems is Don Siegel’s 1973 crime/action/thriller, Charley Varrick, starring Walter Matthau as the title character.  Now, Matthau has continuously and adeptly made a mark in comedy, drama, and crime/action, providing compelling characters in each genre. In Charley Varrick, he works part time as a crop duster, but his true skills pin him as a quick-witted career criminal; he encompasses such an engaging level of intelligence and diligence.  These attributes allow him to heist money from a small-town bank with commanding authority, and, as the story progresses, evade the mob, particularly one of their top enforcers, Molly (played by the harrowing Joe Don Baker), by concocting an elaborate plan to clear his name so he’s never found or heard of again, as it turns out it was the mob’s money he realized he had stolen during the film’s opening robbery sequence.

Now, if someone suggested I check out this movie, and described it as Walter Matthau vs. the Mob, then I’d be sold on that mini synopsis alone. I’ve always found it enthralling to follow films that involve intelligent criminals, whether it be them robbing a bank, conning corrupt, high-powered individuals, or whether it be a prisoner escaping a prison using carefully detailed precision; anything that requires a character to work their unique knowledge into some complex scheme.  And with Walter Matthau at the helm of such a plan, I can’t help but surrender additional enjoyment for Charley Varrick, though that’s not to say the film wouldn’t work as well with another actor, even an unknown one; it’s just a sold movie all together regardless.  I point that out only because it continually grates me that audiences are only, or even mostly drawn to films that star A-list, well-known celebrities, especially when there’s a slew of unknowns with equal, or even better talent.  Unfortunately, people don’t trust an interesting story on its own merits.  Though, I find this to be more of an issue today.  That being said, Walter Matthau nonetheless is such a pleasing presence on screen.

Charley Varrick is Siegel’s follow-up to his gritty, no-nonsense Dirty Harry, so he fits right at place here, delivering another hard-boiled story from the seventies.  What works here so well for Matthau’s character is his ability to think on the spot, and this propels the story at almost a breakneck pace, but not in the action-packed sense of the way, except for the first fifteen to twenty minutes, where we’re treated with a heist sequence, a car chase, and a fun, though-out escape plan, all done with gripping fashion.

However, once Varrick realizes he stole the mob’s money, every following scene, for the most part, is a new step in his plan to remedy this issue he knew would never cease to exist if he didn’t take matters into his own hands.  It’s intriguing to see how each of these steps leads to his ultimate getaway, and it’s these unfolding plot elements that create this sort of breakneck pace to the story; that’s always how I looked at it.  I won’t spoil how Varrick pulls it all off, but looking at it cinematically, it’s quite brilliant and engaging.  I say cinematically because there’s one question that will surely arise in anyone’s mind while watching the film:  As smart as he was, would Varrick’s scheme really work as seamlessly as it ended up doing so?  Truthfully, it probably wouldn’t.  Usually in caper films, within these complicated scenes, something goes wrong either halfway through, or more towards the end.  The way this is structured, though, the overall conflict presents itself before the half-hour mark, and the rest of the movie is Walter Matthau with the upper hand.  Even when mob boss, Maynard Boyle, played by John Vernon, dispatches Molly, he never really becomes a true foil for Varrick, even with his violent, unrelenting nature; Matthau’s character is always one step ahead, which someone could potentially find detrimental to the realism of the film, but his plan is so involving that I feel it works well here.

I haven’t talked too much about the supporting characters, aside from snippets about Joe Don Baker and John Vernon (who plays a similarly sleazy role in John Boorman’s Point Blank), but the main star here really is Matthau, and that’s not to say the others don’t deserve their merits; I can’t forget about Andrew Robinson, too, who played the Scorpio killer in Dirty Harry; in this film, he plays Harman Sullivan, one of Varrick’s partners during the opening heist sequence, and when Varrick explains to Sullivan that it would be foolish to spend any of that money knowing the mob will stop at nothing to find them, he still confidently resists Varrick’s reasoning.  Simply put, he’s careless, irrational, and dense about the whole situation, and it’s those unremitting traits that help Varrick trigger the direction he intends to take with his overall scheme.  And this further exemplifies his astuteness, as he seems to have an endgame to his plan a short while after he realizes he needs a plan.  It’s that astuteness that makes for such a compelling film to watch; Varrick’s not picking up a bazooka and blowing the whole mob into pieces; he isn’t riddling them with thousands of bullets; he’s using a calm and confident intellect to best them.  (Although, I can’t say I don’t enjoy my fair share of some bulletry turmoil…from time to time).

With action films today reaching budgets of $150-$250 million, audiences are bombarded with digitally rendered explosions, backgrounds, and characters.  Don’t get me wrong, there is a place for films like that, if handled with narrative care, a strong script, and solid acting.  They do exist, and there are plenty of them I enjoy immensely, but films like Charley Varrick, and the others I mentioned above, have greatly diminished over the decades.  We still get some directors who acknowledge the effective impact of the more subtle action/crime stories; William Friedkin’s underrated The Hunted, Olivier Marchal’s 36th Precinct, and Nicolas Winding Refn’s Drive come to mind, but no time period in film covers the crafty mold of the action/crime genre in which films like Charley Varrick materialized from.